Dealing with Kids is easier than Mom !

A few days after our family business meeting I found a leak in the master bath sink, it was small but enough to do damage to cabinets and walls. After assessing the situation - then figuring out exactly what was wrong and what I needed to repair it [ two months back I tried to replace the water heater - that was a mess, wont repeat that again ] … I told my wife I was off to home depot.

I’m not sure how or even why - but the conversation went from needing to fix a leaking pipe to - “Why don’t you love me the same anymore?”
I was confused and had to ask… What the….?

“You don’t love me the same any more. Before, If I asked you for something you would find a way to get it for me. Now you don’t… “ she replied.

Say what? Is all I could think of…

In all honesty, it is true that when we first were married I did do what ever it took to get her everything she wanted, the same for the kids when they were born - that is if it was possible.

What is the true reason behind it?

I explained to my wife that my love for her has not changed - infact the reason I do what I do is because I love her. We’ve been married 17yrs and I have given her most of all she has asked for [ and she never forgets to remind me of what I haven’t given her ] and after 17 years, we have nothing….

Our finances are a mess, savings are dismal, retirement plan is a virtual joke - unless you really believe social security will be enough for us to retire on [ if it’s still there that is ]. If I were to die today - who would take care of my family? Even if I lived to a ripe old age - who would take care of us?

The reason behind saving, trying to build wealth [ mainly assets that will create income for us to live on ] is because I love her. Because I want to supply her needs, even some of her wants, today, tomorrow and for as long as she lives. Because I save or cut down on waste doesn’t mean I don’t want to buy her things - it just means I have goals, priorities and I want to achieve those goals for us, the kids, for her.

I am a Material Girl in a Material world

Madonna said it best when you describe the mentality of this generation: “I am a Material girl in a material World”. I am not sure how my wife equates the level of my love by how much stuff I buy her - but I sure hope the kids don’t have that same mentality.

I love my wife and my kids - while I try to turn my finances around, change the way my kids think about money and hope I can help them have a better life than I did…. I hope they realize that I do this for them. I strive, I work, I struggle and sacrifice for them. The only difference now compared to then is - instead of working pay check to pay check hoping I can afford all they want, I am working to build them a future, a business, a way of life.

I have been there done that.. 17 years of paying taxes, working hard, buying trinkets and I have less today than I had 17 years ago [ financially ]. I have more debt than I’ve ever had in my whole life today and my paycheck is not growing. In 1987 when the stock market crashed I said “I’m going to buy stocks and make some money" but I was afraid so I did nothing. The market bounced back and I kicked myself. In 1992 the stock market slumped again and I said "I’m going to buy stocks this time…" this time I had no money to invest. In 2007 the stock market crashed and AIG stocks were at $6 dollars. I told a friend I’m going to buy some AIG stocks… I did nothing, in Aug. 2009 AIG stock jumped to $40 dollars and I’m kicking myself again. Next time I will be ready and have the mentality and the free cash to invest.

If I could change the World

I think that song from Erick Clapton, where he sings “ If I could change the world “ sums it up best for how I feel about my family. I can’t change greedy corporations or the men that run them. I can’t change corrupt government or the over baring taxation we face. I can not change the cruelty of this world, but I can change the way my kids think. How they work with their hands, money and teach then how to have their money work for them. My kids can do what ever they want to do in life, but I know that they can’t say that dad didn’t try to teach them a better way. Instead of being an employee be the owner. Instead of buying junk, buy a business. Instead of being a slave to taxation - play by the governments rules and pay less taxes?

There is only so much I can do with my life now, but I am hoping to give my kids the information, the mentality, the courage and the opportunity to do more, be better, enjoy the prosperity this great country promises everyone.